I am natural for the second time around, and I am super excited! The first time I went natural, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I didn't do any research about natural hair and remained ignorant. I remember looking at women on youtube do the "big chop", and that's all the research I did. When I cut my hair the first time, I was scared, but I wanted to do it. To my surprise, it actually looked good. My last perm was in May 2009, and I cut my hair in August or September 2009. My hair grew extremely fast and lovely, but I didn't believe I was beautiful or attractive rocking natural hair. I was told on multiple occassions my hair was pretty, but I didn't believe it. I didn't love what God gave me. Then after a year and a couple of months of being natural, I went back to a perm. I gave into pressure!!!
I went to home during my first semester in grad school to have my mother straigthen my hair, and my sister ranted about how unhealthy my hair looked. I remember her saying "You look so much better with a perm". I wanted to be attractive in the eyes of others, and I believed straight hair made me more attractive. Sadly, I thought I was less attractive because I got more attention from men when I had a perm. My sinful nature is disgusting! I loved the perm, but I always thought about my natural hair. I remember calling my friend up and saying "I am thinking about going back to being natural". Going to Alabama and seeing my natural sisters embrace their natural hair and love it, encouraged me to do the big chop again in June 2011! My last perm was in April, so I transitioned for two months. I absolutely love my hair, and I have been doing research like crazy! I have no desire to go back to a perm, but I am anxious for my hair to grow back. I watched a youtube video today by a lady named Sunshine, and she talked about confidence and natural hair. It was convicting and inspiring because it helped me to see how being natural is more than just your hair. It's about loving and embracing who you are.
As a woman of God, I often do not love and embrace who God created me to be. If only I was smaller, cuter, funnier, more intelligent, and so forth on. My mind plays tricks on me, and the lies of SATAN often consume me. It is during those times, I must embrace the truth and remind myself of who I am in Christ. I am beautiful inside and out, but most importantly my beauty comes from being a child of the most high King. I want to be natural because God made me this way. He did not make a mistake when he made me, so why should I alter my appearance. I am beautiful no matter what the world says, and I am going to embrace that. If a man can't love and accept my natural hair, then he is not the man for me. My beauty is my godliness, and I don't have to flaunt it because it's obvious (Lecrae). I am embracing me because that is who God created me to be.
Naturally,
Chaquana
No comments:
Post a Comment